A conundrum

I answered the phone one day not long after embarking on the pie odyssey and it was my sister Susan who nonchalantly started the conversation with “So, are you rendering your own lard right now?” Which delighted me as a piece of sisterly silliness, much along the lines of our extended conversation about how I need my own churro machine. But I’ve been catching up on pie reading and just got to an article that Sara sent me (Melissa Clark, “Heaven in a Pie Pan: The Perfect Crust,” New York Times, 15 Nov. 2006) which discusses among other things the wonders of pie crusts made with leaf lard, beef suet and duck fat. Oh, and apparently some of these fats need to be rendered or otherwise processed at home. Now, I don’t currently eat meat. I’m not overly strict in restaurants etc., in part because it doesn’t always occur to me to ask in advance if the peanuts in the pie I am eating have been crushed in a ham bag. And yes, chances are I’ve eaten a pie crust with lard in it and not realized it. But consciously making a lard crust and rendering my own beef suet at home is another story. For the integrity of the pie odyssey, do I need to try making every type of pie crust? If I make a pie for my test subjects and don’t eat any of it, can I trust the survey results? I always figured that if I started eating meat again, it would be because I couldn’t pass up a feta dill burger or some sliced beef brisket, not because I felt compelled to make and eat a duck fat pie crust. But Crisco is, I am assuming, a relatively young product in the history of American cookery. To be true to the American apple pie, do I need to do some experimentation with lard? I’m somewhat torn…maybe my test subjects will protest the lard crust for health reasons and I can forgo making it…

Oh, and by the way, I am so disappointed that the Library of Congress' new Flickr site does not have any fat rendering photos. That's what the Library of Congress is for!

A pie present!

I had to post a picture of the beautiful rolling pin that Auntie Sue just sent me. It's the perfect size and weight, and has Badger Red handles. Plus, it was one of Grandma Bird's so it's extra special. I don't think that Grandma Bird and I ever made pie together, but we certainly rolled out our share of cookies and tea rings so this is a really wonderful gift.

Not an apple pie.

The pie odyssey took a slight detour into the land of savory pies tonight, as I made mushroom turnovers for dinner. Mom gave me a copy of Vegetarian Cooking for Everyone by Deborah Madison recently, and this is the first recipe I have made from it. On first bite, the turnover tasted strange, but on the second bite, it was great. This would make a lovely brunch pie. The crust turned out nice and flakey, although I'm not so good with rolling out dough yet-they're a bit irregular. I did use my brand new pastry knife though, and found it to be so much more efficient than the table knife I had been using. I include multiple turnover beauty shots.

Pie Across Virginia: Virginia Diner

Yesterday I began the second mission of the pie odyssey – identifying and tasting quality pie across the state of Virginia. My friend Kim suggested the Virginia Diner in Wakefield, Virginia as a good starting place. It’s a bit of a drive (Wakefield is southeast of Richmond), but it wouldn’t have been bad if we hadn’t been completely stopped on 64 for 45 minutes on the way there. It was totally worth it though. It was a delightful dining experience.

I was really torn between apple pie and peanut pie. I feel like I should be trying a wide variety of apple pies as a learning experience, but I’d never had peanut pie before. Plus, the last 10 miles of the drive, we passed so many peanut stores and peanut billboards, that I really felt like if I was ever going to try peanut pie, Wakefield was the place to do it. The only solution was to get both. I ate the peanut pie on site, and saved the apple for later.

If you’ve never had peanut pie, it’s very similar to pecan pie, but slightly more orange in color. The peanuts make it a bit saltier too, which contrasts nicely with the sweet goo. Like pecan pie, you couldn’t eat it every day, but it’s a lovely treat. I totally approve that the Virginia Diner served it slightly warm with a bit of whipped cream. They offered me ice cream on top, but that seemed like too much sugar even for me. I found many recipes online that purport to be the Virginia Diner’s peanut pie. One of these recipes advocated breaking up your peanuts by putting them in a used ham sack so that as you hit them, they absorb the flavor of ham. So I guess there is a chance that their peanut pie is not strictly vegetarian, but I’m going to pretend that I don’t know that.

The apple pie that I took home was really tasty as well. Not the best I’ve ever had, but perfectly satisfying. I ate it sooner than I intended because it smelled so good. It was lightly seasoned, with thickly sliced apples and a pale, smooth crust. I was relieved to see that even at the Virginia Diner the apples cook down and leave a gap under the crust as you can see from the profile shot I took.

Virginia Diner stats:

Location: Wakefield, Virginia

Pies available: peanut, peanut butter silk, apple, chocolate chess, key lime. They also have non-pie desserts if you’re so inclined – Kim had what looked like a great brownie sundae.

How are pies displayed: on a great placemat with beauty shots of all the pies.

Other highlights: you get a packet of peanuts as soon as you sit down and the onion rings are fabulous.

Things to know: apparently the Diner gets really busy in tourist season, but you can only make reservations for groups of 8 or more, so probably a good idea to go in the off-season.

Highly recommended.

Happy Valentine's Day from the Pie Odyssey!

In case you wanted your Valentine's Day to be more apple-pie-tastic, I've come up with some advice.

Pie-related phrases you should call your sweetheart:

1. Sweetie Pie
2. Cutie Pie
3. Apple of my Eye

Pie-related phrases you should not call your sweetheart:

1. Half-Baked

Apple varieties that would make appropriate nicknames for your sweetheart:

1. Hubbartston Nonesuch
2. Rome Beauty
3. Honeygold
4. Westfield Seek-No-Further

Apple varieties that would not make appropriate nicknames for your sweetheart:

1. Granny Smith
2. Leathercoat
3. Norfolk Beefin'

(For information on these and other apples, see: Roger Yepsen, Apples, Barrie E. Juniper and David J. Mabberley, The Story of the Apple and Creighton Lee Calhoun, Jr. Old Southern Apples.)

Privateer of Pies - Results of Pie Tasting #2

The scores are going up, so we’re definitely making progress. Nobody called this pie serviceable, which is also a good sign. Still, there is plenty of room for improvement, especially with the crust. If adding pirate apple brandy makes this pie a captain, I would say it is a generic privateer of a pie rather than, say, the Jean Lafitte of pies. A doughy rather than doughty captain as it were. Read on for a summary of comments…

Crust: 6.81 out of 10 (average of 8 reviews)
Well, the good news is that the addition of apple brandy did not give the crust a creepy apple flavor as I was afraid it would. Several people commented that it tasted like shortbread but there was disagreement over whether that was good or bad for a pie crust. A couple of tasters liked the increased saltiness and butteriness, but others thought it was bland. I think it was definitely an improvement, but it could indeed have had more flavor. If I made this exact pie again, I would sprinkle the top crust with cinnamon and sugar before baking. Along with his comments Eric submitted another chapter of his dissertation “The subduction zones of crustal plates in the formation of Blue Ridge Mountain (area pies).” I’ve studied the cross sections he submitted and agree that the stratigraphy suggests that I need to either roll crusts thinner and/or start using a pie bird to allow the crust to settle as the apples cook down. A Ph.D. in pie geology to you, sir. I think Anna may be right in that the crust could have benefitted from being cooked a tad longer. To be honest, I was afraid that if I cooked it any longer I would fall asleep and burn the pie, as I have famously done before.

Filling: 7.7 out of 10 (average of 8 reviews)
The score for filling increased the most – a whopping .7 point increase. Since the only thing that changed was the apple blend, I think that it was the increased tartness that did it. Plus, I really think I like chunks better than slices – the apples held their shape more and were less mushy. Endrina suggests adding lemon juice for increased tartness. Ultimately, I would like the flavor to come mainly from the apples, but until we’re there, it might be time to play with lemon juice. I suspect there will be a dramatic difference when apples are actually in season. Personally, I thought the pie could have used more spices; I think that when I added more apples, I forgot to also add more spices. Oops. I would continue to add more apples though – this pie just isn’t dense enough for me. Plus, with an entire office sharing one tiny pie, the only way for everyone to have more pie is to build up.

Pie: 7.3 out of 10 (average of 8 reviews)
I added a new question to the survey this go round at Susan’s (co-worker, not sister) suggestion. The final question asked whether or not the tasters would eat a second slice of this pie. While the answers certainly varied in enthusiasm level, they generally proved my theory that any pie is better than no pie, and seconds are best of all. Some people in fact had already had seconds by the time they got to the questions.

Thanks to all who commented. Even if I didn’t quote you, I’ve read your comments carefully and entered them into the pie archive for further study. Hmm, the pie archive might have to start handing out research fellowships...

Pie #2: Captain Apple Pie

This pie has the same amount of sugar and the same spice blend as the control pie. I’ve changed the apple blend though. I’ve replaced the Staymans with McIntosh and Granny Smith for a more complex, and hopefully tangier taste. I thought that the volume of apples in the control pie was insufficient, so there is approximately one additional cup of apples in this one. I also cut the apples in chunks, rather than slices this time.

Pie profile:

Apples: 1 part Golden Delicious, 1 part McIntosh, 1 part Granny Smith

Lemon juice: none

Sugar: small amount, white sugar only

Spices: a mix of cinnamon and nutmeg

Crust: rolled pastry, top and bottom. Uses a mix of butter and crisco. Water replaced with apple jack.
Predictions: The combination of apples will give this pie a tarter taste than the control pie. I think the filling will have a firmer texture as well due to the new apples introduced and the fact that the apples are cut into bigger chunks. I would guarantee that this is going to be a better pie than the control pie, except that I think the crust is either going to be really great or really awful. Although it did smell heavenly when I rolled it out...

Fool Proof Crust?

When one person (Carly) told me that alcohol (vodka) was supposed to be better in pie crusts than water, I was intrigued. When a second person (Susan) reported that alcohol (apple jack) was supposed to be particularly good for apple pie crusts, I was sold. Now before you protest, yes, I am aware that the American Pie Council’s official rules for the amateur division of the National Pie Championship strictly prohibit recipes with alcohol. Well, we’re not exactly at National Pie Championship level yet. And I have apple jack in the cupboard that needs to be used up. So, as I mix up dough for a pie to be made later in the week, I thought I would share some important tips for baking with alcohol. Don’t expect fancy tips though, these are practical considerations for all of us novices.

1. Apple Brandy = Apple Jack. Generally, if you are baking with it, you do not need fancy alcohol, so don't go buying the finest bottle of calvados that money can buy.


2. Do your alcohol research before you go to the liquor store.* Chances are, the alcohol you are buying is some strange thing that you would never drink and know nothing about. Likewise, while the average liquor store clerk may have great advice for picking out party liquor, they may not be an expert on the finer points of alcohol for fruitcakes. Back before I knew that apple jack was apple brandy, a clerk tried to tell me that what I wanted was sour apple schnapps. Fortunately, I knew just enough to realize that my fancy cake should not be made with something that was florescent green, but it was a close call. The internet is for nothing if not alcohol research. Search on whatever booze your recipe calls for and come up with several substitutions so that you can price compare. Keep in mind that the alcohol your recipe calls for may in fact be a brand and not a type – figure out what flavor you are looking for and you might be able to use one of any number of brands. *Note, this rule applies not just to baking, but to cooking with wine also. I recently saw a confused woman at Food Lion asking an equally befuddled clerk if the pink “wine” she was holding would work for cooking a roast. People who do not do their research before going to the store end up with strawberry-flavored roasts.


3. Apple jack is usually shelved with the other fruit brandies. This might be far away from the actual brandy. Often, it is the dust-covered section of the bottom shelf in the back of the store.


4. It is perfectly acceptable, when buying fruit brandies or other baking alcohols to loudly tell everyone in the store that you are buying it to bake with. They are more likely to believe you if you can make eye contact.


5. And finally, it is important to remember that you should not serve apple jack to your dinner guests; it is apparently not an after-dinner drink. Don’t be fooled by the presence of such delicious words as “apple” and “brandy” nor by the jaunty pirate and the old-timey script. Inexpensive apple brandy should only be drunk straight if you have some paint that you need removed from your esophagus.

Pie's the Word

My brilliant friend Helen suggested that the Pie Odyssey should tackle the etymology of pie-related phrases in everyday use. In that vein I bring pie and etymology lovers the exciting news that among the words added to the online edition of the Oxford English Dictionary in December was the phrase "cutie-pie." Although I'm glad to see the OED recognizing the importance of pie-themed vocabulary, I am sorry that the entry for this phrase focuses more on the cutie and less on the pie. So you'll just have to check back for more fruitful discussions of the language of pie in future. (If you want to see the entry for cutie-pie, it sorts under cutie; the OED online is a subscription-only affair, but if you have affiliation with a university or library, you should be able to get access through your library's online catalogue.)

Dough you want to know a secret?

A recent increase in discussions regarding pie has made something obvious to me: good crust is what makes someone’s reputation as a pie baker. It turns out that everyone knows at least one pie baker against whom all other pie bakers are measured and in every case, the first thing people praise about their (uncle’s/grandma’s/neighbor’s/friend’s/librarian’s) pie is the quality of the crust. Nobody ever says “wow, Aunt So-and-so really knows how to make a nice, firm, non-runny apple pie filling.” Comments are always about the lightness/flakiness etc. of the crust. And everyone’s special pie maker has a decided trick; in a twenty four hour period I have been counseled both to use only ice water and to use only room temperature water in my crusts. However crusts are made, they are clearly the secret to pie celebrity, and I need some serious practice if I am ever going to take anyone on in a pie bake-off.

"The Tom Hanks of Apple Pie" - Results of Pie Tasting #1

For the purposes of the Pie Odyssey, I figured that I would need a controlled group of testers. I landed on my workplace as the perfect spot because, 1. The same group of people can reliably be found there every day, 2. My co-workers form the perfect combination of discerning food critics with a willingness to devour anything that appears on the kitchen table.

Predictably, the results of the pie tasting were all over the map, so I am exercising a baker's prerogative and focusing on the comments that were either repeated the most, or rang true with my own taste test. Overall, I think the most important trend was that multiple testers independently described some aspect of the pie as "serviceable." Here's a breakdown of results.

Crust: 6.7 out of 10 (average of 7 reviews)
Just as many people said that the crust was flaky as said that it was not flaky, but overall the tendency seems to suggest that the crust was on the dry side, and perhaps too thick. The good news is, two reviewers commented on its lack of greasiness - Eric commented that the "Crisco-iness lingered afterwards (in a pleasant way, not a gross way)." What kind of pies have you guys been eating?? Bottom line, my goal for future crusts is to work the dough less, while simultaneously rolling it thinner and magically increasing the flakiness. Check.

Filling: 7 out of 10 (average of 7 reviews)
I think taste-tester Anna nailed the analysis when she described the filling as "very similar to what you would see in an apple strudel." The consensus (and I agree) seems to be that the filling was mild and bland - not unpleasant, but a little boring. I get the sense that most tasters would agree that the way to give it more flavor would be with different, perhaps tarter, apples, rather than with more spices. I agree that the apples could have been firmer. Most people were okay with the sweetness level (sorry Polkadotta) so I won't adjust the sugar level just yet. There were two positive statements about the relative viscosity of the pie, so the cornstarch level seems to have been okay. When asked what they thought about the variety of apples used (Stayman and Golden Delicious) folks were pretty lukewarm. Jeff (who gave me the article mentioned in a previous post about the virtues of mixing apples) said the combination was "Not as exciting as one might hope from an apple mixture" and I totally agree. Obviously, this is not the right combination. My theory is that in a truly excellent apple pie, it is the fruit that does the real work. More experimentation is necessary, especially with tarter apples.

Overall Pie: 6.79 out of 10 (average of 7 reviews)
The consensus seems to have been that this pie was ideal....as a control pie for the great Pie Odyssey. Touted by Susan and Eric respectively as an "average joe" of apple pies and the "Tom Hanks" of apple pies, this was a mild and inoffensive (and dare I say, generic?) apple pie that will serve well as a baseline against which to measure future pies.

Thanks to all who tested pie and submitted comments. Your reviews have been archived in the official pie safe and will be taken into consideration. Posterity will thank you for your efforts.

Know Your Apples: Golden Delicious & Stayman

Originally, the control pie was going to be made only from Stayman apples, but my boss gave me a great article on cooking with apples that advocated mixing sweet and tart apples for optimal effect (see Marcia Kramer, "Mix 'Em Up, Says 'Professor Apple'" Washington Post, 19 Oct. 2005). This article cites the oft-quoted apple expert Tom Burford, aka Professor Apple and puts my Stayman apples firmly in the tart category. Fortunately, I also had one giant Golden Delicious (sweet) that I added.


The Stayman originated in Kansas as a seedling of the Winesap in 1866. These were grown locally in Lovingston Virginia. My pre-baking taste test showed these to be mildly tart, with a very slight mealiness. The Golden Delicious originated in West Virginia, and may be the most common apple in the world, despite having only been discovered around 1890. This one had a lovely, pear-like flavor before cooking and was mildly sweet. (Sources: Barrie E. Juniper and David J. Mabberley, The Story of the Apple [Timber Press, 2006] 156; Roger Yepsen, Apples [Norton, 1994] 114-5, 210-1.

Pie #1: Control Pie

Okay, we're starting with a pretty standard recipe, both for filling and crust in order to establish a baseline to compare all future pies to. For the filling, I used a modified version of the basic apple pie recipe in the 1962 edition of the Joy of Cooking. The crust derives from Auntie Sue's friend Sis, who is an excellent pie baker. It's basically flour, salt, crisco and ice water.

Pie profile:
Apples: 1 part Golden Delicious, 2 parts Stayman
Lemon juice: none
Sugar: small amount, white sugar only
Spices: a mix of cinnamon and nutmeg
Crust: rolled pastry, top and bottom.

Things I learned while making the control pie: Don't lick crisco off your fingers. It's time to buy a pastry knife. When it says to dot with butter, that should happen before the top crust goes on. It's time to go through dough rolling 101. The edges on this pie are irregular, and I had to repair a minor crack.

Predictions: The pie will be slightly tart, with a very traditional spice profile and a moderately juicy consistency.

What, no pie?

Part of the impetus for the pie odyssey is what I perceive to be a general lack of pie in the state of Virginia. Prior to moving here, I spent most of my adult life in Texas and Wisconsin, where pie is omnipresent. Without half trying, I could name multiple locations in either state where you can get delicious pie. In Houston, there is a fine 24 pie restaurant. In college, there was a Pie Lady who would come around to the various academic departments once a week with a box full of mini pies for sale. My college roommate and I spent many lovely hours comparing the virtues of the various Pie Lady flavors – would we get apple this week, or lemon chess? It was the pie lady who first introduced me to the concept of buttermilk pie.

In Wisconsin, it seems like every restaurant has a bakery counter loaded with pies. There are bars that have pies up on the bar in front of the taps. Madison has one pie restaurant that features both sweet and savory pies, such that you can have an entire meal, just of pie. I always felt like in Wisconsin, when you were waiting at the bus stop, there was a 50/50 chance that whoever was standing next to you might actually have been a revolving pie case, and not an actual human being.

But Virginia just doesn’t seem to have that strong a pie culture. My co-workers are probably sick of hearing me rant about this, but when the topic came up again last week, none of us could think of a single restaurant in our area with a pie case. It was chilling. But I’m optimistic that I just haven’t been going to the right places, and may in fact need to venture farther afield in search of pie. So a second goal of the pie odyssey is going to be searching out places in Virginia with good pie. And of course, promoting pie to the people of Virginia. (photo: pies on top of the bakery case at Monty's Blue Plate Diner, Madison Wisconsin. courtesty Michel H.)

The Pie that Launched a Thousand Ships

After celebrating National Pie Day (January 23rd) in grand style by baking two pies, sampling five pies, and hosting a pie appreciation contest, I've really been in pie withdrawal. Without the high of National Pie Day, the days have been greyer, the birds have chirpped less and I've been picking at all of my non-pie meals with disdain. Will Pie Day ever come again? Will the nation's windowsills ever hold delicious, steaming hot pies again? The answer must be a resoundng YES! In my post-Pie-Day melancholy, I have been contemplating a crazy dream - a way to pass the misery between now and next January - a great Pie Odyssey!

What, you ask, is a Pie Odyssey, and how do I sign on for such a journey of deliciousness? Well, to answer the first question, as with any great journey, we cannot know it's full scope at the outset. But I'm starting with the following goal: To spend the year improving my somehwat limited pie-baking skills, with the ultimate hope of creating an original recipe to enter in some manner of baking contest! Now, if we're going to be serious about this (and we are) this means that we've got to be focused and scholarly. And we're going to have to start with basics. Which means that I'm declaring 2008 to be....Ellen's Year for Apple Pie! All year long I'm going to study, experiment with, and taste apple pie recipes. Hold onto your forks, because there is going to be so much pie this year. Also, keep your library card at hand, because there will be footnotes. (photo: lovely local Stayman apples for the first (aka control) pie.)