Happy Valentine's Day from the Pie Odyssey!

In case you wanted your Valentine's Day to be more apple-pie-tastic, I've come up with some advice.

Pie-related phrases you should call your sweetheart:

1. Sweetie Pie
2. Cutie Pie
3. Apple of my Eye

Pie-related phrases you should not call your sweetheart:

1. Half-Baked

Apple varieties that would make appropriate nicknames for your sweetheart:

1. Hubbartston Nonesuch
2. Rome Beauty
3. Honeygold
4. Westfield Seek-No-Further

Apple varieties that would not make appropriate nicknames for your sweetheart:

1. Granny Smith
2. Leathercoat
3. Norfolk Beefin'

(For information on these and other apples, see: Roger Yepsen, Apples, Barrie E. Juniper and David J. Mabberley, The Story of the Apple and Creighton Lee Calhoun, Jr. Old Southern Apples.)