Fool Proof Crust?

When one person (Carly) told me that alcohol (vodka) was supposed to be better in pie crusts than water, I was intrigued. When a second person (Susan) reported that alcohol (apple jack) was supposed to be particularly good for apple pie crusts, I was sold. Now before you protest, yes, I am aware that the American Pie Council’s official rules for the amateur division of the National Pie Championship strictly prohibit recipes with alcohol. Well, we’re not exactly at National Pie Championship level yet. And I have apple jack in the cupboard that needs to be used up. So, as I mix up dough for a pie to be made later in the week, I thought I would share some important tips for baking with alcohol. Don’t expect fancy tips though, these are practical considerations for all of us novices.

1. Apple Brandy = Apple Jack. Generally, if you are baking with it, you do not need fancy alcohol, so don't go buying the finest bottle of calvados that money can buy.


2. Do your alcohol research before you go to the liquor store.* Chances are, the alcohol you are buying is some strange thing that you would never drink and know nothing about. Likewise, while the average liquor store clerk may have great advice for picking out party liquor, they may not be an expert on the finer points of alcohol for fruitcakes. Back before I knew that apple jack was apple brandy, a clerk tried to tell me that what I wanted was sour apple schnapps. Fortunately, I knew just enough to realize that my fancy cake should not be made with something that was florescent green, but it was a close call. The internet is for nothing if not alcohol research. Search on whatever booze your recipe calls for and come up with several substitutions so that you can price compare. Keep in mind that the alcohol your recipe calls for may in fact be a brand and not a type – figure out what flavor you are looking for and you might be able to use one of any number of brands. *Note, this rule applies not just to baking, but to cooking with wine also. I recently saw a confused woman at Food Lion asking an equally befuddled clerk if the pink “wine” she was holding would work for cooking a roast. People who do not do their research before going to the store end up with strawberry-flavored roasts.


3. Apple jack is usually shelved with the other fruit brandies. This might be far away from the actual brandy. Often, it is the dust-covered section of the bottom shelf in the back of the store.


4. It is perfectly acceptable, when buying fruit brandies or other baking alcohols to loudly tell everyone in the store that you are buying it to bake with. They are more likely to believe you if you can make eye contact.


5. And finally, it is important to remember that you should not serve apple jack to your dinner guests; it is apparently not an after-dinner drink. Don’t be fooled by the presence of such delicious words as “apple” and “brandy” nor by the jaunty pirate and the old-timey script. Inexpensive apple brandy should only be drunk straight if you have some paint that you need removed from your esophagus.